Festivus for the Rest of Us: A Holiday Tale Retold

[Note: Below is an edited version of the story of my first Festivus in 2007. - RTR]

I spoke with Joanie early yesterday and she graciously wished me and Ruth a happy winter solstice. Her kind sentiments were greatly appreciated and I sincerely wished her the same. You see, Joanie is one of my friends who celebrates the winter solstice, while other friends spent their Decembers celebrating Christmas or Kwanzaa or Hanukkah.

Christmas is still at the forefront in our home. In fact, I was scheduled to have a Christmas holiday dinner with Ruth, her sister, and my brother-in-law. It was one of those once-a-year dinners with the in-laws at the Outback restaurant. Also, the next day, December 23rd, we were scheduled for a family gathering with the Rico clan, including my siblings from out-of-state arriving for the Christmas holiday. No matter how you slice it, these family holiday gatherings are always full of surprises.

Later in the day, in an odd turn of events, I learned from Ruth that this evening being December 22nd made it “Festivus Eve.” She casually explained that “Festivus for the Rest of Us” was the newest, somewhat-backhanded holiday celebration in direct opposition to the gross over-commercialization of Christmas by the dominant Christian society. (Which begs the question, What Would Jesus Buy?)

This was the first I ever heard of Festivus.

To my astonishment, Ruth told me of Festivus, a holiday in which the day – December 23rd – is celebrated by the “airing of grievances,” or sharing with your family and friends all the ways they have let you down or disappointed you during the year. A bare, unadorned aluminum pole is the symbol of Festivus. Ruth had me at “grievances.” I was sold. Sign me up for the Festivus holiday.

In a real kicker, Ruth explained Festivus was hatched during an episode of “Seinfeld” – season 9, Episode 10, to be exact. The holiday was concocted and described as a joke thread throughout the episode. This, in my view, should solidify it as a December holiday.


Festivus Eve Dinner

By the time I learned about Festivus, it was too late to rent and watch the Seinfeld episode. Instead, we scrambled to get spiffed up and head to the Outback.

Even though I was barely into the Festivus spirit, dinner ended up being an airing of grievances. My brother-in-law was highly agitated by the fact that he could not watch MSU sports on TV because of the dispute between the Big Ten Channel and the cable TV companies. Damn it, he was no longer going to send MSU anymore donations as result. He fully blamed MSU for the “blackout” situation.

Now, I spend most of my waking hours during the year worrying about war, peace, a lying president, torture, secret prisons, destroyed CIA tapes, etc. Still, I’m like Marky Mark from Downtown, I have opinions on almost everything, especially sports issues. In this case, I was not backing the multi-billion dollar cable TV industry over the multi-million dollar college sports industry. I spoke up and absolved MSU of responsibility for the TV dispute. My brother-in-law flashed an angry Christmas temper with a rock-sold, “You’re full of sh*t!”

I explained my rationale further. He doubled his emphasis in the crowded restaurant, “YOUR’RE FULL OF SH*T!!” At that point, I reciprocated with my own Festivus greetings and barked back “You’re full of sh*t!” I looked at Ruth and she looked that me. A new holiday had been christened.

After the Festivus greetings were diffused by a quick change of subject, I did not say much else during the dinner. My brother-in-law is an 80-something WWII Navy vet, so I resisted telling him all about my work with the anti-war movement. It potentially could have turned into the Tiger Stadium centerfield bleachers all over again – one side yelling “Eat Sh*t!” and the other side yelling “F*ck You!” back-and-forth in a perverse version of the old Miller Lite commercial. Instead, I kept my mouth shut.

On the way home, Ruth and I ended up renting the Seinfeld Season 9, Episode 10. It was best $1 we spent all Christmas season.

My First Festivus Day

Before heading to Fowerville to meet the Rico clan on Sunday, I ran into Everybody Reads Bookstore to grab the Sunday NY Times. Deb behind the counter informed me there was no Sunday Times waiting for me; the distributor shorted me again.
Oh, well.

What could I do? I wished her a Happy Festivus Day -- and she cracked up! Deb and Chris had rented Seinfeld, Season 9, Episode 10, the night before. What a hoot!

Ruth and I arrived at my niece’s home in Fowlerville, only to discover a full power outage in the neighborhood. My niece had a house full of guests and the expectation of Christmas entertaining. In a stellar example improvisation, food was being cooked and warmed in the garage on the summer gas grill. We ended having a good chuckle about the year's happenings, the food turned out great, and nobody told me I was “full of sh*t.” Still, I asked everyone at the table, “Did you know today is Festivus Day?” My nephew from Texas looked over and said, “Where’s your aluminum pole?”

I’m on to something here.

-- Rico Thomas Rico

A Holiday Tale Retold: A Ghost of Festivus Past

As we gather in these holidays among family and friends, inevitably we recount stories (i.e., incidents) of holidays past. With the Festivus for the Rest of Us only four days away (Dec. 23rd), I want to retell my first Festivus tale as slightly edited from the original posting here in December 2007. "Airing of the grievances" is one part of the celebration and I am working on my list for posting here on Wednesday. In the meantime, let's reminisce....

I spoke with Joan Peace early Saturday (Dec. 22nd) and she graciously wished me and Ruth a happy winter solstice. Her kindly sentiments were greatly appreciated, as Joanie celebrated the winter solstice while other friends spent their December with Christmas or Kwanzaa or Hanukkah. I sincerely wished her the same.

Christmas, however, was still at the forefront at home. I was scheduled to have dinner with Ruth, her sister, and my brother-in-law. It was one of those once-a-year dinners with the in-laws at the Outback restaurant in Lansing (MI) at 6:30 p.m. Also, the next day (December 23rd) was scheduled with the Rico clan, including my siblings from out-of-state arriving for the Christmas holiday. No matter how you slice it, these family holiday gatherings are always full of surprises.

Later in the day, in an odd turn of events, I learned from Ruth that Saturday was also Festivus Eve. She casually explained that “Festivus for the Rest of Us” was the newest, somewhat backhanded holiday celebration in direct opposition to the gross over-commercialization of Christmas by the dominant Christian society. (Which begs the question, What Would Jesus Buy?)

This was the first I ever heard of Festivus.

To my astonishment, Ruth told me of Festivus, a holiday in which the day – December 23rd – is celebrated by the “airing of grievances,” or sharing with your family and friends all the ways they have let you down or disappointed you during the year. A bare, unadorned aluminum pole is the symbol of Festivus. Ruth had me at “grievances.” I was sold. Sign me up for the Festivus holiday.

In a real kicker, Ruth explained Festivus was hatched during an episode of “Seinfeld” – season 9, Episode 10, to be exact. The holiday was concocted and described as a joke thread throughout the episode. This, in my view, should solidify it as a December holiday.


Festivus Eve Dinner

By the time I learned about Festivus, it was too late to rent and watch the Seinfeld episode. Instead, we scrambled to get spiffed up and head to the Outback.

Even though I was barely into the Festivus spirit, dinner ended up being an airing of grievances. My brother-in-law was highly agitated by the fact that he could not watch MSU sports on TV because of the dispute between the Big Ten Channel and the cable TV companies. Damn it, he was no longer going to send MSU any more donations as result. He fully blamed MSU for the “blackout” situation.

Now, I spend most of my waking hours during the year worrying about war, peace, a lying president, torture, secret prisons, destroyed CIA tapes, etc. Still, I’m like Marky Mark from Downtown, I have opinions on almost everything, especially sports issues. In this case, I was not backing the multi-billion dollar cable TV industry over the multi-million dollar college sports industry. I spoke up and absolved MSU of responsibility for the TV dispute. My brother-in-law flashed an angry Christmas temper with a rock-solid, “You’re full of sh*t!”

I explained my rationale further. He doubled his emphasis in the crowded restaurant, “YOUR’RE FULL OF SH*T!!” At that point, I reciprocated with my own Festivus greetings and barked back “You’re full of sh*t!” I looked at Ruth and she looked that me. A new holiday had been christened.

After the Festivus greetings were diffused by a quick change of subject, I did not say much else during the dinner. My brother-in-law is an 80-something WWII Navy vet, so I resisted telling him all about my work with the anti-war movement. It potentially could have turned into the Tiger Stadium centerfield bleachers all over again – one side yelling “Eat Sh*t!” and the other side yelling “F*ck You!” back-and-forth in a perverse version of the old Miller Lite commercial. Instead, I kept my mouth shut.

On the way home, Ruth and I ended up renting the Seinfeld Season 9, Episode 10. It was best $1 we spent all Christmas season.

My First Festivus Day

Before heading to Fowerville to meet the Rico clan on Sunday, I ran into Everybody Reads Bookstore to grab the Sunday NY Times. Deb behind the counter informed me there was no Sunday Times waiting for me; the distributor shorted me again. Oh, well.

What could I do? I wished Deb a Happy Festivus Day – and she cracked up! Deb and her partner Chris had rented Seinfeld, Season 9, Episode 10, the night before. What a hoot!

Ruth and I arrived at my niece’s home in Fowlerville (MI), only to discover a full power outage in the neighborhood. My niece had a house full of guests and the expectation of Christmas entertaining. In a stellar example of improvisation, food was being cooked and warmed in the garage on the summer gas grill. We ended having a good chuckle about the year's happenings, the food turned out great, and nobody told me I was “full of sh*t.” Still, I asked everyone at the table, “Did you know today is Festivus Day?” My nephew from Texas looked over and said, “Where’s your aluminum pole?”

I’m on to something here.

-- Rico Thomas Rico

P.S. Below is a sample form to state your own grievances on Wednesday. If you are so inclined please feel free to post your top grievance below or email them to me at tjsuave[at]hotmail[dot]com.

RTR's Must-See Holiday Movies

The RTR household has its holiday tradition of watching two great movies each and every year. You may have the same type of tradition. My neighbors, the Kravitz Patch family, have raved about National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase. A former buddy, the Kaviester, was the first to recommend The Christmas Story, which has pretty much grown out of its cult status. Others enjoy traditional movies like "The Miracle on 34th Street," "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas," or "A Charlie Brown Christmas." If you have other favorites, I'd like to hear about them.

The two movies the RTR family watches every year -- and recommends to you -- do not easily fit into the slapstick comedy usually preferred by the likes of the Kravitz Patch Family. But these movies are worth a try considering all the mediocre choices you have at the video store.

The first recommendation is not even about Christmas. It is, in fact, a movie focused on the Thanksgiving Day holiday. "Home for the Holidays" is a 1995 release that was directed by Jodie Foster and I consider this an American classic. This is quite an achievement for Foster, an Oscar-winning actress and Hollywood veteran/survivor. Foster does not appear in "Home for the Holidays" but she assembled an all-star cast for the movie, including Holly Hunter, Robert Downey, Jr., Anne Bancroft, Charles Durning, Dylan McDermott, Geraldine Chaplin, Claire Danes, Steve Guttenberg, and others.

Like any good holiday movie, "Home for the Holidays" is about reluctant family members -- with personality quirks and emotional baggage -- converging on Mom and Dad's house. The many characters in this movie are down-to-earth and believable for anyone who has made that same reluctant trip back home. Foster holds together a great script and acting performances to give us an adult comedy with good humor, emotional nuances, and a timeless message. I still get choked up at the end of this movie.

The producers of the next movie recommendation are, it seems to me, way off in their marketing. "The Ref" is a 1994 Christmas comedy starring Denis Leary, Kevin Spacey, and Judy Davis. However, the DVD jacket features Leary on the cover with a gun and two tied-up hostages. At the time of the movie's release, Leary had emerged as a first-rate stand-up comedian and

this movie was early proof that he had first-rate acting skills. The movie, in part, was cashing in on Leary's comedy name and still, to this day, isn't generally well-known as a Christmas movie.

I highly recommend "The Ref" for some holiday cheers. The story centers on a burglar (Leary) who accidentally steps into the Christmas gathering of a dysfunctional New England family. Again, this is an adult comedy that succeeds in painting a picture of the emotions that come bubbling to the surface during family Christmas gatherings. This movie is fun and funny, and fast-paced with a run time of 93 minutes. Be warned, however, that the first third of the movie has some salty adult language, including some choice words right out of the gate. I know the salty language will cause laughing fits for some (like my neighbor Junior Kravitz), but others will need the call for earmuffs (like neighbor Jacqui Kravitz). Regardless, stick with this movie and maybe you will have a new favorite holiday movie.

-- Rico Thomas Rico

'Tis the Season

Here in mid-Michigan we are getting our first real snow today. Now this weather development should mark the official start of the winter holiday season. Some people started way too early and there oughtta be a law that prevents people from starting the overly-commercialized Christmas stuff prior to Thanksgiving, as businesses and neighbors have been doing the past few years. The Christmas shopping used to kick off the day immediately following Thanksgiving and the ostentatious Christmas lights didn't get flicked on until then, also. So let's get the law introduced and passed; there should be enough lame ducks running around to get it done. Then we can work on yanking the FCC license of the local radio station that has been playing Christmas music for something like the last three months.

Through all that ranting, let me back up, catch my breath, and wish you a Happy Holiday! Yes, "Happy Holiday!" by which I mean Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and New Year's Day. My well wishes also include holiday greetings for those of us who celebrate the "Festivus for the Rest of Us" on December 23rd. It's all wrapped up in the "holiday" in "Happy Holiday."

Last year's holiday episode did not dissuade me from being optimistic about the season, believe it or not. I have even posted some holiday music on this blog for you to enjoy (see jukebox at top right). So turn up the sound, hit play, and sit back and listen to some holiday music. Cheers!

-- Rico Thomas Rico

Shopping Zombies Revisited

Like an old cat toy, I was dragged to Twelve Oaks Mall today while passing through Thunderville. Luckily, I arrived late, about 8:30 p.m. The crowd of shopping zombies was thin because of the late hour, or possibly because of the deflated, overspent consumer-oriented economy. Hard to tell.

By nine o'clock, the gates to the store fronts started to come down. I could only look at the unneeded, cheap, plastic crap through the windows. The overpriced, ridiculous clothing made in third world countries by slave labor were out of reach. When these stores fail to open after the commercialized Christmas season, no explanation will be needed from the Wall Street Journal, NPR, or any talking heads of other news outlets.

The scene at Twelve Oaks brought back memories when, a year ago, I covered the invasion of the Shopping Zombies at Meridian Mall in Okemos, Michigan. It was one of the best actions I've seen. Check out the pictures below. These Shopping Zombies invaded the mall's territory with a message about over-consumption. I was frank in my observations that the shoppers and the Zombies became indistinguishable after a while. They blended in perfectly. It was scary.

Well, I received word tonight that a Wal-Mart worker in Long Island was stampeded to death as shoppers stormed the doors at 5 a.m. These brazen consumers did not hesitate on the way to the bargain selves. These shoppers even rushed past rescue workers trying to assist the fallen worker. I find no humor in this tragic story whatsoever. In last year's action at Meridian Mall, art imitated life. This year, someone literally paid with his life.

-- Rico Thomas Rico

2007 Shopping Zombies Revisited

Grab Your Coat, You're Getting Snowed

Baghdad was 59 degrees today. Wanna bet that over 70% of our U.S. troops in Iraq and Afghanistan would rather have been at the Capitol with us today?

The Bush dead-end defenders -- starting with U.S. Representative Mike Rogers -- refuse to acknowledge a vast majority of U.S. troops in Iraq, some on torturous second and third tours, would rather be home right now. But what would Bush, Rogers, and cronies know or care about the needs of our troops and the security interests of this country? These policy impostors have time and again proven they are complete amateurs in handling world affairs, and they've handily turned a blind eye to U.S. government illegalities like (all documented) torture, kidnapping, secret prisons, domestic spying, leaked CIA identities, evidence destruction and on and on.

So who is getting snowed here? Me. You. Our troops. The American public.

Grab your coat. Join us. We'll be back in front of the Capitol at Noon on January 4, 2008.

-- Rico Thomas Rico

To see all of today's snowy Peace Vigil photos, please visit:

http://www.flickr.com/gp/9042461@N06/4J0h66

Wishing for Peace on Earth

Below is my picture of the Peace Vigil at the Michigan Capitol Building in Downtown Lansing on December 21, 2007. This was the 328th straight Friday at the Capitol Building. Please come join us each and every Friday at noon until the war and occupation in Iraq and Afghanistan end. Everyone is welcome. (Make it part of your New Year's resolution!) Signs are provided or bring your own. The next vigil: December 28, 2007, at noon.

-- Rico Thomas Rico