Sunday, January 27, 2008

PART 2: A Dirty Job, A Dirty Vice President

The producers at Discovery Channel’s “Dirty Jobs” program should consider another dirty and disgusting occupation: the repair person for Dick Cheney’s shredder machines.

There must be a lucrative no-bid federal contract available for the repair person who can keep Dick Cheney’s shredders operating overtime during the next 12 months. In fact, the repair person will be kept quite busy running between Cheney’s office and Langley, Virginia, the location of the C.I.A. headquarters. Both offices will have high-demand needs for smooth, consistent shredding services and can’t afford a breakdown of equipment. When approaching the C.I.A. offices, the shredder repair person will need to be careful not to impede the progress of the incinerator repair person.

Don’t scoff at the shredder repair person’s duties. It will not only be dirty and disgusting, but highly pressurized. Someone’s ass will be in the grinder should the shredders break down and incriminating documents survive showing the government’s support for illegal torture, hidden prisons, kidnappings, etc.

Furthermore, there are safety issues. On December 19, 2007, did you notice the news reports out of Washington, D.C. regarding the fire at the White House’s Executive Office Building? Reportedly, the fire was on the 2nd floor of the Executive Office Building near Dick Cheney’s ceremonial office. When I heard the news, I immediately pictured in my mind the shredder machines – dozens of them probably – overheating in a mad rush to do away with certain internal documents. I never saw any follow-up news reports explaining the fire as other world news overtook the story. Regardless, I expect our “Dirty Jobs” repair person will keep the machines from overheating or from causing any safety issues. It should make for an interesting exciting episode.

That’s it for now. If you have any other suggestions for “Dirty Jobs” TV program, please feel free to share them with me.

-- Rico Thomas Rico
Executive Office Building Fire, Dec. 19, 2007

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