Check in Hand, Nowhere to Go

Just this one time I wish I had answered the phone.

A phone solicitor was asking for monetary contributions to the presidential campaign of a prominent U.S. Senator from a large Midwestern state. They needed money, I’m sure, for expensive TV ads to be broadcast over the public airwaves. These are the same ads that should, in actuality, cost little or nothing. (What part of “public” airwaves don’t we understand?)

Luckily, they got my wife on the phone.

It seems this particular U.S. Senator – who shall remain nameless for the sake of fairness – had the audacity of hope that we would donate to his campaign after he so rudely pulled out of the Michigan primary. He and a few other Dem candidates pulled out and promised not to campaign here. Of course, Mrs. Slick kept her name on the ballot. And Dennis Kucinich, like any good peacenik liberal with proper street cred, was running late and missed the deadline to pull out of the primary.

So now, the legislature must quickly peel out of their hunting clothes and pass some legislation to add all the names back on the ballot. Pass legislation? Yeah, right.

While we sit around waiting to see how it shakes out, please don’t send me any e-mail messages about how the Democratic Party is disenfranchising people by moving the primary up. For those who make this complaint, I need to remind them that they are already disenfranchised. Each and every time Iowa and New Hampshire leads the presidential election season – with their nonsensical claim to electoral superiority – you are disenfranchised. Usually by the time the primary reaches Michigan, the nominee is nearly locked up and the next thing you know a Michael Dukakis bumper sticker is on your vehicle.

I agree with Carl Levin, my former boss, the nomination choke-hold by Iowa and New Hampshire needs to end. The lead-off states should be rotated every four years to better reflect the make-up of the general population. Both parties would benefit by enabling us to make better decisions about the candidates. It’s all about democracy. Yeah, right.

I’ve got my checkbook out and an easy four-figure donation ready to go to a good candidate. But the candidate will be required to come to Michigan in person to get it. All I can do now is sit by the phone, turn on the TV, and watch “An Inconvenient Truth” while waiting for that good candidate to show up.

-- Rico Thomas Rico